Lets just jump right to it. The ex and I have a sex tape. At the time, I was madly in love, 1 year into the relationship, he was my future. Ha! So young and so naive. We loved and sexed each other every chance we got, especially being that we lived in the same campus…yes this was them college days. He had wanted to film me for a while now but I wasn’t sure it was a good idea. Looking back I should have said no but I was curious.
So I went for it, brought out the red teddy and all. Okay, we fucked, sucked, licked and came. What now? Who holds the tape? Well he does, its his trophy. Smdh. I never watched it. I mean why should I, I was there. Not sure if he ever watched it either. So what was the point really? Check it off your bucket list? I guess, but if you don’t watch it again what is the point? What If you guys break up?
Yea, that happened. We broke up 3 years later. He moved on and as did I. He mentioned the tape to me on one of our “friendly” talks after the break up while he was engaged to be married…yea men. Smdh. He told me he would go see it again cause he missed me. And that although he can close his eyes and picture me naked its not the same as seeing it on tape or better yet, having the person fucking you again for part 2 of the film. Yeah men are stupid and assholes. Since I was still good with his mother…cause she still wanted me as the daughter in law, I went over to her house, had small talk with the mom and brother then went right in his old closet and looked for my box. Yea you know the box that every one keeps of their exes. All the pics and letters, old flowers, maybe even panties. Yea, that box. I looked through it and found three tapes…I took them all.
I called him while over there and told him. He was mad but couldn’t do anything because he was miles and miles away. I mean it doesn’t make sense…u are engaged to be married. What you need a sex tape of an ex for? So, its done, I am in possession of the tape…what do I do now? I wasn’t ready to see it because I was still mourning our break up. Watching the tape would not be good. So I put it away in MY box lol. I forget about it for a few years, technology has evolved and now that 2001 camcorder is ancient.You hold an 8mm tape in your hand, with no way to watch it unless you ask a friend of a friend who has a cousin that has said camcorder.
12 years later, my mother tells me she wants to dubb all her 8mm tapes to dvds. So I ask my in laws for their camcorder. Yes, they still own one. I start watching old videos reminiscing and i remembered…the tape! I look for it, find it, and press play…OMG. literally so young and naive. What was I thinking letting this man film us. But damn do I know how to give head and how to ride the cum off of a dick . Is that what I look like? Its been 12 years so I have mastered my head and cowgirl skills lmfao.
Now that I have seen it, I don’t regret doing it. We were both satisfied, we both came after the 30 min fuck fest. So its whatever. Now, would I have changed some things? Yes, most definitely! For one, the teddy…blah. At that age, I did not wax, I trimmed…horrible. Especially that he was hairy to begin with. Not a good look. I was embarrassed for myself watching that tape. But then again I was young and thought this man was the man for me. I had what I thought to be great sex with this man…the tape showed different. He had great sex because of me. I may not be super head or the Jenna of porn but damn to watch that tape and see young me in action…for little old me, I can fuck!
Now do I keep the tape, or burn it?