Monthly Archives: January 2014

Perfect Aim

“So, one day, I was giving my boo head. It was some damn good head too. We were both really into it when he started saying: ‘Babe I’m about to cum. Babe; Babe.. Baaa-‘ – you get the point. So, because I wasn’t trying to swallow, or have him cum on me (which he knew), he pulled out just in time. He just happened to pull out in such a way that his jizz went STRAIGHT into his eye. Funniest thing I’ve ever seen. The pain and agony he was in; I felt so bad, but it was so funny… and holy shit was his eye red. You would have thought he caught an STD from his own spunk. LOL Aaahhh good times.”

– Dirty Diva

From Bad to Worse

It happened in High School.
I had been talking to this guy for about 3 months and he just had a birthday. I didn’t think much of this guy in terms of his looks. He was skinny, hairy, smelled a little funny; just plain ugly. What had attracted me was that he was kind to me and was easy to talk to. I mean, ugly people need love too, right?
I decided to cut class with him and go to his house. This was all my idea. Bad little girl, I was. I thought it would be a nice birthday gift for him and an experience for me. He was gonna be the second guy I had sex with and I was hoping for some success. The guy I lost my virginity to was never able to give me an orgasm or give me a hint of pleasure, so I really hoped that this guy would be able to.
On our way to his house, he asked if I wanted something to eat. I was a bit nervous, and didn’t want bad breath, so I told him ‘no thanks’. He himself was hungry and I was actually shocked he didn’t eat anything. He loved to eat, and was always eating (as a matter of fact), but I guess he just went with the flow. We just went straight to his house where no one was home or expected to be home until the evening.
We popped Dirty Dancing into the DVD player (My choice of film). We were in his living room, surrounded by photos of him, family members, and dolls his mother used to collect. It was like a shrine. Whatever. So, me being who I am, grabbed his face and we started to make out. It was those make out sessions where you know you’re gonna get some. Just the right amount of tongue and perfect amount of intensity as I sat on top of him on that Lazy Boy chair from the 80’s. I thought to myself: “This is it!”. I was overly excited and completely ready. I shaved my cookie, armpits, legs and even my ass crack (not for back door action; I wanted to be hairless and perfect). I thought we could do it on the chair, to be more exciting, but he decided  that we should move the party to his bedroom halfway through our undressing. I said okay and left my shoes, jeans and top in the living room. He carried my fat ass to his room, which was awkward, but I wanted a full blown romantic experience. I mean, I know this was suppose to be his birthday gift, but why couldn’t I have a few things done for myself as well? Shit, I mean, he really was ugly. At the end of the day, he was lucky to have me.
It was time. We were on the double bed; he was on top of m. We kissed heavily until he put on a condom. He was getting himself in the mood by rubbing his penis on my pussy lips. I was happy he wasn’t small like the other guy. I just kept thinking: “I can’t wait to cum”. He put my hand on his cock, and I was instantly wet. ‘Mmm; this is thicker.’ – I thought to myself, as I jerked it a little bit and gave it back to him.  Thinking about it now, I guess he wanted me to to put it inside, but I didn’t get the hint back then. Finally he put it in and we started the show. We were starting to get a good rhythm going between us, when after about 3 minutes he stopped suddenly. I was confused; asked him what was wrong. He looked up at me and said: “I can’t keep going.”  I thought he came, but he opened his doofy mouth again and said: “I’m hungry”.  He did not mean hungry for a mouthful of vagina or ass; he was hungry for food. He gave me a quick hug or whatever that was, and hopped off. I had no choice but to stay wet and horny while he ate some fucking cereal. Yes, that actually happened. That happened to me.
 Later on, after all that ‘excitement and hunger’, we were still not dressed. I decided to get on top and make this happen. I mean, we already made the effort to cut class and get that alone time in. I hopped on his dick and started riding it. He moaned and made some funny ass love faces. I thought ‘okay, this is good; you got this’. I was getting into my grind, and getting closer to my first orgasm ever when then the apartment door opened. We were no longer alone and my ultimate orgasm goal (obviously) failed. We never attempted to fuck again and instead I just deaded him completely.
Happy birthday you hungry gorilla bastard. 
– Dirty Diva

#isthatweird

  • I find balls beautifully imperfect and I like to suck em…#isthatweird
  • When I press on my thighs I get my girly happy, so I press them harder to try to cum a lil#isthatweird
  • I like to suck on the clit as if it was a sunflower seed#isthatweird

Wake Up Vibe

Wake Up Vibe

What??! An alarm clock vibrator?! If anyone loves me they would purchase this for me as a gift!! I’d never oversleep again if this sucker woke me up!

Our Little Secret

I’m not into chicks. Let’s start there. I am happily married. My husband and I have been together for umpteen years; kids, a dog; the whole shebang. We have a GREAT sex life. There is nothing for that man I won’t do in bed. I believe all women should be this way. Who wouldn’t want to be this way?

So, a few weeks ago my friend and I are talkin’ about fantasies, and she tells me she really wants to have a threesome. More specifically, shes into voyeurism. She wants to see her man with another woman; the thought of it turns her on. She asked me if I wanted to be a part of this experience. Naturally, I told her no. She’s my friend (for years now), he’s also my friend (for years now). I’m not into chicks, and I’m saving the threesome for my husband (which is soon coming).. but dammet she was fucking persistent.. so I gave in.

We met up that weekend (my husband was working a double) at her place. The mood was perfect. Soft lights, R&B in the background, liquor and weed FLOWING. It was great. So here we are, about an hour into the night, when it begins. R. Kelly’s ‘Black Panties’ album comes on, and that’s all this couple needed.

They started making out, whiles he’s caressing my thigh. Slowly that right hand made it all the way up to my breast. Next thing you know, her hand is on my other breast, and I was instantly turned on. My bra came off, pants immediately unbuckled. A three-way kiss ensued, and soon after that my friend and I are full on making out; grabbing hair, nipple pinching and ass grabbing like there’s no tomorrow. Holy FUCK was I fucking horny.

She ate me out like I’ve never been in my entire 30 years on this planet. Perfection. I swear she’s done this before. I look over at her husband, who is jerking off that big black dick of his. He comes over to me and puts that veiny fucker in my mouth. Not one to ever be put to shame, I sucked THE SHIT out of that dick. Wifey stopped eating me out and took a seat on the chair placed perfectly at an angle on the side of the bed. Pulls out her dildo and awaited the magic that was about to happen.

I’m flipped over and the fuck-fest begins. When I tell you he has a big dick.. he has a big dick. I don’t think I’ve ever screamed so loud while being fucked. Doggy-Style has never felt so good. What is going on?! The spanking on my ass, the hair pulling.. I came almost instantly. He started talking to me: “Who’s your fucking daddy? You like this big black dick in you? You ain’t EVER have a dick like this in you I know you haven’t; I can tell by your screams. You sucked my dick so damn fucking good; do it again.” All I could say was “Yes DADDY YES!!” His wife had the biggest grin on her face when I looked over at her too. She winked at me, and started moaning herself with that dildo inside of her.

Needless to say we fucked throughout the night, he and I. He made me feel so different.. I can’t even describe it. We all decided that we should do this once a month; it would be our little secretI thanked them both at the end of the night and went on my merry way. 

I found myself thinking about that night all the time. It’s all I thought about. The way he fucked me and how he made me feel; I’m wet just thinking about it. We spoke about it through text a few times, and met up once to set up the next “hangout”. It went great; we picked a day (every third Saturday); and fucked it out to seal the deal without his wife being there.

We fuck it out at least twice a week now. How am I supposed to stop fucking this man when he won’t stop fucking me? What’s gonna happen when his wife finds out? When my husband finds out?!! I don’t know and right now, I don’t care. I need that dick in me every couple of days or I can’t function.”

– Dirty Diva

Born Again Virgin

” One of my ex-shortys had gotten circumcised after we were already fuckin around. YES, A GROWN ASS MAN. He called me over; we chilled. He was still in the healing process, but we still fucked. It hurt him so much I think I de-virginized him. #isthatweird? “

Sticky Icky

” I forgot to wash my hair last night. Today at work I realized that my hair is really sticky. I think my boyfriend came on my hair last night. I also think I liked it. #isthatweird? “

In honor of MTV’s Girl Code, we’ve began our “Is That Weird” portion of the blog. All quotes given are random. 😉

Snow Day Pity Cooch

It was a snowy day in NYC. I was able to leave work early today; man am I glad my bosses made that happen!

I was chattin w my homegirls’ and we were discussing the crappy weather and how much we would all have rather been in bed (our own beds) with our boos’ instead of suffering through work, when the OG remembered a not so awesome story she decided to share:

“It was quite a few snowstorms ago; back when I was single. I had been talkin’ to this guy on and off for a while, but I wasn’t really feelin’ him. We had messed around a few times before, and we fucked once before, but I vowed to never do that again. He was so small! Literally, like 4 INCHES. 4 INCHES!!! I know some people say ‘it’s not the size that matters; it’s the motion in the ocean’,  but I’m sorry; that is such bull shit!

Well, he wouldn’t leave me alone this one particular day. The whole time he’s texting me, telling me that he misses me and all this shit. I was bored and alone so I told him to come over. He must’ve really been feening to see me, cuz he trooped it from the L.E.S. on the MTA to come see me. So whatever, he comes through; brings liquor. I could tell immediately that he wanted the cooch. I mean, who wouldn’t want this great cooch?!

Ugh; he was so nice too. So, there we are, drinking; talkin’ shit, and next thing you know, he’s trynna make a move on me! I didn’t want it. Man was I NOT into it… but he was SO persistent! I felt so bad for him; he even set the mood with all of these R&B songs; I think he made playlist on his iPod. Points for romance?

Well, I took one for the team and fucked him. Yeah, he got the snow day pity cooch. The only thing I’m thinking while he’s on top of me and Avant’s ‘4 Minutes’ are playing, is: ‘Man this is bad. I thought women lied when they said they couldn’t feel anything, but SHIT!’ Definitely had to fake it. Worst 4 minutes of my life!

You already know that I never called him again, right? LOL. Oh well, had bigger and better dicks to move on to, literally!”

– Dirty Diva

Excited

Super excited about what’s to come..

Mona Lovin’ and I have interviewed three groups of men, all aged between 28-33, to get some insight into the sexual mind of a man. We completed our third and final group interview last night, and boy did we get some good info.

We have our work cut out for us now.. between combining all of our findings, watching the videos, and writing up all of the sexcapades these horny men have shared with us.. you guys are really in for some good juicy posts!

Can’t wait to share!!

– The Dirty Diva

When Mom’s Away …

Got a special treat tonight: My very good friend wanted to share her steamy story with you all! It was so good I’m jealous this didn’t happen to me! Read Below –

‘My moms not home.’

Just saying that made me horny. I bring him to my room, and immediately I’m all over him. God, he’s so hot and I can’t wait to have his dick in my mouth. I unbuckle him, pull’em down and I just take him in. He loves to be deep-throated, and to be honest: before him, I wasn’t into it; but with him, I enjoy it. I love feeling his dick in the back of my throat, but most of all I enjoy the way his body reacts: his face, the moans; when he says “take that shit, baby”. His favorite is when I gag: oh he loves that, and Lord knows I don’t mind choking one bit on that beautiful dick of his. Gag reflex here I come!! Everything about it just turns me on like a motherfucker.

As I’m sucking that dick and cleaning the back of my throat with it, I grab my little bullet and start to rub my clit with it. Going back and forth just like my neck; I’m thinking about how awesome it would be to cum together in union. I tell him “I’m coming baby; salvame esa leche pa tragarmela”; and like a good boy who follows directions, that he did. As my orgasm takes over me and my muscles clench of sweet delight, so do my taste buds. I enjoy that milk going down my throat, but God, what I really enjoy is his face and the moans coming from his mouth.

We are both left satisfied. I’m left happy and sleepy and my man is left feeling and looking like I drained him of all his kids. Mission accomplished. “

-Dirty Diva

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